Living with a Stoma: An Unexpectedly Funny Journey

It is not often that you hear someone talk about having a stoma with humour and levity, but it is possible. A stoma is an opening created in the abdomen that allows the digestive system to be diverted, and when living with a stoma, life can seem anything but funny. But with a few small adjustments, it is possible to find humour in the situation, and live an immensely fulfilling life. And if you have children who can help themselves from laughing at the sound of farts it can be embarrassing at first but you’ll learn to just go with it over time.

The Reality of a Stoma

Living with a stoma is not easy! Physically and emotionally, there can be a great deal of pain and discomfort. Unpredictable symptoms can arise, and the fatigue that comes with a stoma can be devastating. Not to mention it can be embarrassing when you’re sitting there opposite your daughter’s Teacher and a whisper of gas causes a rippling effect and a small bulge under your top to appear and then slowly disappear. Imagine a balloon at its fullest, with a pin-sized hole and the sound it makes as it releases air. The awkward silence is enough to make your cheeks go red but what’s worse is when the Teacher tries her best to carry on talking as if nothing happened. For my daughter it was the most memorable Parent’s Teacher meeting ever and the most comical. It is vitally important to remember that the physical and emotional pain is real and should not be minimised.

Finding the Humor

Living with a stoma doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom. Even if the situation is difficult, it is still possible to find joy and laughter in the smallest of things. Whether it is simply the joy of being able to go out and do the things you love, or the funny stories that come with having a stoma, it is still possible to find humour. For example, there is the story of a man who was eating a particularly spicy meal trying to compete with his daughter. After a few lashins of Frank’s Hot Sauce onto the buffalo spicy wings, his stoma made some very awkward noises. As the waiter leaned over to ask “was everything OK with your meal” the stoma erupted and the waiter gave a sheepish stare and then walked away as if nothing happened. As the man’s stoma filled with liquid he made haste towards the bathroom only to realise his stoma exploded. It was embarrassing at the time but you’ve created a fond memory that will live on in the memories of your children and the restaurant. It’s the moment when you’re enjoying yourself watching a movie and your stoma erupts without warning. My children can help themselves from laughing and I’ve learnt to laugh too.

Taking Care of Yourself

It is important to remember that living with a stoma can be a challenging experience and that it is essential to take care of yourself–physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make sure to get plenty of rest, eat healthy meals, and attend regular doctor appointments. Taking the time to focus on healthy habits can greatly help in managing the physical and emotional pain of having a stoma. And if one type of stoma bag doesn’t work for you, you can ask for another. I was so fed up with the standard type of stoma bag with its hard and sharp plastic and its paper thin bag constantly bursting and causing a rash around the seal. I did my research and found a company called Salts whose bags are of a much higher quality. The seals are much firmer and kinder to the skin and the bag is thick and soft by far the most comfortable bag I’ve found on the market. I asked my Stoma Nurse if I was able to swap over and she obliged. I’ve never looked back. I do recommend anyone that who is suffering because of the quality of the stoma bags speak to your Stoma Nurse and they can arrange for some samples to be sent out to you so you can find which ones work best. 

Making the Most of Life

Living with a stoma can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be a burden. With a few small adjustments, life can still be immensely fulfilling. I do often say when meeting with others that I’ve not seen for some time, is to excuse any noises that I may make as they are as unintentional as they are smelly. Most of the time people are fascinated by the stoma but often regret getting so close. Remember to take time to appreciate the little moments of joy and laughter, and don’t forget to take care of yourself. With a little bit of effort.